June 16, 2007 - Saturday 18:06
The world is blue like an orange
"This M. thing is gonna hurt." someone told me. Obviously.I have decided, from the very beginning how things were going to end. With the drastic changes happened in the past few weeks, I have too much to say, too little vocabulary to say it. I shouldn't read too much into it, I told myself, but in vain, I take very gesture to account, I am distracted. Apart from my strange adjustment and soon readjustment, I have been going around France for my exams.
First of all, the train rides were too long. For the first time, I experienced train sickness, from all my rides (5 of them) and I would much prefer to fly because it is more efficient even though going through security might take a bit of time. As last year, I stayed in the youth hostel at Lille, which was the worst hostel I have ever been to. The exam lasted for two days but the second day was very short, I had an interview and that was all. If I had done well in my written exam, I would have been accepted. The person who interviewed me was the head of development and recruiting department and I KNEW from his words that if nothing went wrong, I would be going to ESJ, my dream school, the best journalism school in France and one of the very best ones in Europe. He double checked my email address because we ended the interview and I explained the situation last year, about the full scholarship and address complications. Towards the end of my writing exam, I realized that out of 4 people taken the text in this room (there are 23 in the world and they take only 2 or 3 of us) , two of them were from a French speaking country, and the two already got accepted were from Turkey and one I don't remember from where. So basically; the school is accepting 1 out of 21 in the entire world. We will see. In the last part of my writing exam was a free style writing, we were given the subject:" The world is blue like an orange." I wrote a story about someone I know and myself. After I finished ly interview early in the morning, I had the rest of the day off before I set out for another city. The idea of going to Brussels for a day has appeared but because of the train change and the schedule, the plan fell through.
As usual, the ride was long and the trains were late. The lodging situation changed completely, instead of staying in a youth hostel, a nice hotel ended up to be the temporary shelter. Back to the south, the next destination was Toulouse. A red dirty city. The concours was supposed to last for three days but since I had both of my interviews in the same day, I had my last day free. The written part was disastrous and we were given the lamest subject in the history when it came to the report, we had 24 hours. The subject was: Toulouse. After I finished my written exams the first day, I had decided to give up again. I was not going to write about Toulouse or talk about the history or touristic aspects of the city and I had no other idea came to my mind. I thus decided to finish my interviews anyway and just leave. My first interview was English. The interviewer was English and she really liked me, she started to tell me about herself once the conversation took off. She said that I was the most qualified one in the entire list that she had interviewed (about 200 of them, we were about 800 to 900 to take the exams) and they shouldn't reject me just because I did badly in my written exam. Before I left for my last interview, she said that she would put in a good word for me. As I walked out of the room, I have decided to do the report, I had about 2 hours left.
My next interview was in 10 minutes. I sat in the hallway waiting to be called, dwelling on the ideas for the report. I was somewhat absent minded during the second interview, the jury asked me some trick questions as usual, I don't remember what I responded but when I got out of the room, I went to a café near by and chewed on my pen cap: I had an hour and a half left. Frustration suddenly hit me and I made up my mind to say something.. well... sharp. So I used the very school that I try to get in: Journalism school in Toulouse as an example to critisize the whole French elitism education system. I finished the entire report in 53 minutes. I didn't reread it because if I did, I would never turn in it, it was a harsh piece. I think they would hate me, but I don't mind them hating me.
As I turned in my final épreuve, I was officially done. I am now in vacation besides the fact that I am working full time. So before I got to Nice, a day-trip to Albi made me happy. It was a small town that no one ever heard of even for French people. They have the most amazing cathedral in the world but no one has discovered that lovely village yet. The train for Nice pulled in the station at 18:06 Thursday night and now I am at work. When I got to the basement, I got the letter of the confirmation to disconnect my Internet, so I can leave at any moment now. Nothing else kept me here anymore.I suppose David Lynch would love to do a film here, it is a rotten town.
'Til the next time folks.
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June 3, 2007 - Sunday 09:17
Pinocchio
"Do you believe me?"
"Why does it matter?"
"You think I am lying."
"It doesn't change a thing. If you had decided to lie to me, you wouldn't change your answer just because I say:'Oh you are lying.'"
"There is no reason for me to lie to you."
"Then don't."
"I am not lying."
"OK."
"You still don't trust me."
"Can I?"
"I said 'nothing happened.'"
"Yes you did."
"And nothing happened."
"And you keep saying that."
"Because nothing happened."
"And I do speak the language. On top of that I am neither deaf nor having altheimzers."
"..."
"Let it go. It doesn't matter really. You say what you want, I believe what I believe. Life goes on just fine."
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