Random Stuff in Aug.

I found myself wide awake at 3AM. That was it, my on-average-2-hours-a-night sleeping pattern slowly crept back and left me staring at the ceiling for hours. I ate too much, didn't drink enough, tried to read a book but my mental state was nowhere close to register words. Someone told me "It's like an elastic ball bouncing back and forth." He meant something else, but such statement applies to my insomnia too. Because of the drastic weather change, I coughed a bunch while awake at night. "You should drink more tea with lemon, if not, make sure you write down your will before tomorrow." P. said -- Cheers mate.

Met up with J. for coffee yesterday, hadn't seen him for a couple of weeks. He looked pale behind thick sun glasses in an indoor cafe.
"How are you?" I asked him.
"In your opinion?"
"Have you tried to go to school? It has been more than two months."
"No. I don't feel like doing anything at all. Already I made an effort to come out to see you."

Dr. Cox: Nothing ever changes. The artist formerly known as Prince is still just Prince, my ex-wife is still pretty much my wife, Grey's Anatomy always wraps up every episode with some cheesy voice-over that ties together all of the story lines, which incidentally is my least favorite device on television, Newbie continually will try to violate my no-touching policy... (Looks around) ...and Republicans will forever try to raise...

"And you? How are you holding up? The trip to Paris didn't sound good."
"I am holding it up. I spent Wednesday lying in bed and being angry at everything, but that was my break-down day. I am back to my normal life again."
"You put back your mask you mean?"
"If you wish."
"But you don't wear your mask with me. I am happy about it."
"Be happy."

Mom called and told me that she hadn't been sleeping because she could not get the paper for me. I said one insomniac in the circle was enough, and we were pulling the strings here. Things will finally work out, it takes time. I choose to spend a lot of time in solitude: only to clean the flat, fold the laundries, organize documents, watch "Scrubs" and check the forecast. I have more than two suitcases now because of some new papers, and an entire liter of unopened Johnnie Walker Red Label. I am not a destructive person, just yet to be anywhere close to being constructive.

(originally posted on August 13, 2008 - Wednesday 00:17)